Making Tracks

How I would love to be making tracks of my own in the snow. The wildlife surrounds us and makes me want to follow and see where they go.
Deer tracks, turkey, like the ones on my wool blanket, rabbits everywhere, mouse tracks, bobcat, wolf. ( No, I don't want to follow that one.)
However, many years ago, I took a terrible tumble down these treacherous half log stairs, not properly spaced, and knocking me out cold. That was the beginning of bad news for my back and legs . It's been 12 yrs. but seems like yesterday. Four years later, one leg fell straight down through a rotted deck board, while the other did the splits. To make a long story short, my leg went completely numb, loosing use of it, in less than a weeks time. Needless, to say, back surgery was the only way out of this dilemma. Am I still bothered today,? Yes. The first year, neuroprathy settled in making for an unhappy camper lately.
Why lately? Well, I used to do a lot of snowshoeing., even after the surgery, but now, since I cannot feel my feet half the time, and they are constantly ice cold, I don't go anymore. I guess I'm a bit bitter over it all. Oh, I can still walk, or stumble about. My Dad had a dead leg, and swore he would walk again. He did too. I noticed how he trained himself to mentally move his legs one foot in front of the other. My situation is much different than his was, but the fact that there is still tons of frustration over something I cannot change, remains an issue. I am getting slower, much more careful and guarded of each step, especially with winter snow and ice. I feel robbed. and Shame on me.

I can still move, but there is always that ' but.'

I'm ashamed of myself, all this self pity. All I have wanted to do today, was to strap on those snowshoes up there and take a winters walk., making my own tracks, my own mark in the woods. Don't worry about me, I beat myself up like this once in awhile to be reminded of all the glory God has given me.

Oh, I'll get over it!

For now, I want to thank all my blog friends for following my tracks here. You have been supportive, complimentary of my artful attempts and grandloving, and genuinely ' good for me. ' You have been true friends. I would like to wish each and every one of you a blessed new year with 365 Happy Dance Days in 2011!

BlessYourHearts, Everyone